Friday, March 15, 2013

Everything happens for a reason, right?

So some people know, basically close friends and family, that Matt and I were having another baby.  Baby would be at the end of September probably.  It was kind of a surprise but we were really excited.  I was 10 weeks this week and finally had my first appointment! Matt and Sammi came and Bella was at school.  Matt wasn't sure he was going to be able to make it but he did, thank god.

So we went back for out ultrasound and our lil' baby popped up right away.  But I noticed there wasn't any movement and I couldn't see a heartbeat which at 10 weeks, both would be pretty obvious.  The tech was quiet but I pretty much already knew.  She said she had bad news, that the baby's heart stopped beating and it looked like it just happened a few days ago since the baby measured at 9 weeks and 5 days.  I was in a little but of shock but I think knowing what was going on before she said anything kind of cushioned it.  The doctor came in just to repeat what the tech said and then we went to her office.  On the way there I could hear a couple monitors that were on women in other rooms.  You could hear their baby's hearts beating.  It kind of pulls at your heart a little.

Once in her office she explained that they pretty much can't figure out why these things happen.  She told me I had 3 options.  I could go home and wait to have a miscarriage naturally, I could take some pills that would start it and finish it within a few days, or I could have a D&C which is a minor surgery where they put you to sleep and take care of everything.  Initially I chose the pills.  For some reason I wanted to be at home when it happened and I also didn't want to wait for it to happen by itself.  When I got home that night I put off taking it.  Not sure why, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.  Then I decided to research it a bit to see what I was in for.   Basically from what I read it was going to be really painful (even with prescription pain meds) and really really bloody.  AND when you are as far as I am in the pregnancy sometimes it doesn't work all the way so you have to get a D&C anyways.  So then I researched a D&C.  A quick procedure, you're out for the surgery and there's hardly any pain or bleeding after and it seemed like most women who had experienced both processes preferred a D&C.  The next morning I called to see if they could schedule me.  They scheduled me for the following morning at 12:30.

I never really thought I would be sad about having a miscarriage because it happens to people everyday.  But then again, I never thought if I were to have one, that it would happen at 10 weeks.  I think it was because I was feeling like I was in the clear, that I was safe.  The day before the baby's heart stopped beating, I had heard it at home on a doppler.  Matt got to hear it too.  It was a strong 165 beat per minute heartbeat.  I did cry a little.  Which really isn't something that I thought I would do in this situation.  I think I am more sad that all the things I was excited about- like having a big belly over the summer, having a new baby in the perfect weather month of September. Matt's trying to be there for me as much a possible.  He's disappointed too.

Now on to Friday morning, day of surgery.  I dropped Bella off at school and I guess Matt hold told her teachers earlier in the week that I was pregnant and we were having our first ultrasound.  They asked how it went.  I hadn't actually had to tell anyone in person what happened.  It caught me off guard and I almost started to cry telling them that it didn't go well.  I felt a little bad because they looked a little...weird, I guess.  One teacher gave me a big hug and told me she had been through that before too.  Anyways, back to surgery.  I had to be there at 10:30 and I couldn't eat or drink anything past midnight the night before.  I was DYING! I was so hungry!!  I asked if they did an ultrasound before the surgery just to double check.  While I really didn't have hope, I think in this situation it's completely fair to think that just maybe there will be a heartbeat or just maybe there's  another baby in there hiding that's just fine.  They were nice enough to do it but we got the same results.  No heartbeat.  Finally around 2:30 or 3 I was wheeled back for my surgery.  When I woke up I felt fine, just needed FOOD!  Matt came in a little later.  He was in his police uniform and I'm sure people that I was some sort of criminal haha.  We finally got to go home at 5:30 and he got  me food yay! 
I thought I would be really sad after the surgery.  There was no more baby in my belly, at all.  That's sad.  But really I felt more of a sense of relief.  Like it was finally over with and we could move on.  Maybe I will feel sad tomorrow?  I'm not sure yet.  But either way I'm happy it's over.  We want another baby but I just can't imagine myself having another winter pregnancy and if we got pregnant soon the baby would be born in January or February so we will probably wait until those months to try to make another baby.  This was a little bit of a roller coaster and it definitely wasn't how I planned things to be but I trust that everything happens for a reason.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Say Whatttt!!!??? I'm BACK!

So it's been how many years since I've posted?  I've been thinking about this blog here and there and even tried to find it once.  It couldn't find it.  At all.  There were other mama drama blogs but none were mine nor were they as cool (I have boobies on mine!). 

So here I am.  My blog will contain fun events that happen but I will be adding other random stuff now.  Since it's been about 2 years that I got my boobs that is old news.  By the way, they are still wonderfully amazing, even more so now that they are all settled in.  I dare to say they are the best fake boobs I've ever seen and I am glad they are on ME :)

Since I've been gone I went through one career and moved into my current in-between career.  I became a personal trainer and was going to get a fancy degree and all but realized it's so boring. It was fun when I had clients who were able bodied but most weren't.  They were either old or overweight which meant their workouts were slower and more repetitive.  I liked being able to help those people but for me, it was very boring.  So I quit personal training but I am still keeping my options open just in case an exciting opportunity comes up.  I started bartending at a few places and made great money but the lifestyle wasn't for me.  We weren't allowed to drink while working which was fine with me but I was expected to come out on all my nights off to drink and spend money.  Two kids don't make that very easy, plus I've never really been one to go out a lot.  So I moved on from that to what I am doing now.  Promotional modeling.  It's super easy work that pays really well.  I normally represent a company and give people free stuff and encourage people to enter a to win a new car or something like that.  I only work weekends so it leaves me the entire week to spend with my babies.  But this isn't something I can do forever.  They want young and pretty faces and I'm 26 so I've only got so much longer.  I started taking courses to apply for nursing school last summer and I plan to do labor and delivery nursing, if that's how things work out.  I am also considering applying to the ultrasound tech program.  I think I would prefer L&D nursing though.  Things are different everyday and I get to be a part of one of the most joyous moments of a persons life.  This semester will be my hardest yet but I need to hurry up and get some sort of degree since I've been at a community college for 4 years!

Now that I've found my blog (thanks to my sister!) I will be back soon to relieve my brain some more :)

Saturday, April 30, 2011

ok. nevermind that.

Matt decided to go get a drink so I will write a post :)

With all this warm weather, Im not spending much time at home.  So it makes it hard to find time to sit down and type up a post.  Where do I start?  My BABY is almost 2!  Makes me so sad.   She was my first little tiny love and now shes this grown little thing who thinks she rules the world.  Some *jerk* taught Bella the word "mine" a few months ago.  Ive made a point to never use that word with her and have told a few people not to use it.  But i cant control what happens when im not there :(  EVERYTHING is hers.  No matter what it is, its hers.  I heard her talking to herself listing things that were hers.  On the list : "MY toes".  Haha!  Of course theyre yours silly!  If i touch her hair, she yells at me "no mamma! MY hair!".  Of course it is.  Its fairly funny but can be quite annoying at the same time.  Sammi.  Oh Sammi. My little scaredy cat.  She WAS walking.  Then she decided that she was too scared.  And that was that.

Oooh so I forgot i wanted to post about the ghost in my house.  (which also reminds me i need to make matt take me to see Insidious).  So matt and i both agree that there is a ghost in the house.  We've seen her, same places, just different times.  Nothing major has ever really happened.  The most physical thing is when one of us will be in bed alone and you can feel a person sit down on the bed.  Not like a light movement but the bed seriously sinks down.  Creepy!  Well last week I was watching matt's sister's 3 kids.  We were all outside and the oldest (shes 8) came running to me saying as soon as she walked in the house, a vase on the mantel over the fireplace fell over.  This was like 5 minutes after telling her about the ghost.  I know she couldnt have gone in and knocked it down because i saw her only walk in the door and come right back out.  I went to clean it up and you could see the spot where it was (from my dust haha).  It was NO WHERE near the edge.  All the doors and windows were close so it couldnt have been the wind.  Not to mention, its a heavy vase and like i said, it was no where near the edge.  So how did it fall?  Crazy!  The girl was kinda freaking out.  Me, I was a little excited but freaked out at the same time.

The next day i went out back for some reason.  There was this huge bumble bee and it came it got RIGHT in my face.  It just stayed right in the spot and looked at me.  When i tried to move away and followed me and got right in front of my face.  There are tons of wasps and hornets that are in my back yard.  Everytime one came in the yard, the bumble bee flew after it and chased it away and the came right back in front of my face.  It did that like 6 or 7 times.  I even saw it fly way far away across the street and to another house and then it came right back to my face again.  What the hell??!!?!  A part of me thinks it was my brother protecting me from the wasps and hornets :) or maybe it was a rabid bumble bee?

Work. Oh good ol' work.  Them assholes.  They only schedule me one day a week.  No surprise, that isnt enough money!  The manager likes the other girl who shoudlnt be working there so she gets to work fridays instead of me.   2 fridays ago she didnt show up, didnt call nothing.  So last week i was texting the manager asking if she still worked there so i could find out if i was working friday or not.  Turns out the owner hired back another girl he fired to work that day!  Really?!   You not going to give me the shift?! Ughhhhh!!! I need to find a new job but its really hard to go job hunting when you have 2 children and school to work around.  I think tomorrow i will go to a bar down at the beach and see if i can get a job.  I saw that they were hiring bartenders.  I also have contemplated doing bikini contests.  They have them every so often next door.  Theyre called the International Bikini team and they have contests all over the region.  The ones ive seen, the girls arent very cute, at all.  So maybe i have a chance?  I would say thats an easy couple hundred dollars, right?  I just have to make sure matt is ok with it.  If he is, my first one will be May 14.  Ive got the boobs, mine as well make them worth the cost ;)

I know theres a lot more i wanted to write about.  I just cant remember it all.  I try to think about it and come back.

Friday, April 29, 2011

I have not forgot about you my dear sweet blog!

Title says it all! Ive been busy and have all these things i want to write about but ive forgotten most of them.  But i will be back with a reallllllly long post. Probably monday :)

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Breaking in Sammi

I feel so busy lately but i feel like im not doing anything at the same time?  Its really weird, and annoying.  I feel like i have all these things to do but i dont have anytime to do them, then at the end of the day i didnt do anything at all.  I guess its not a big deal though because Im relatively happy.  The beautiful weather if finally here to stay and that in its self makes my days so much better.  I love having the windows open.  But when its nice like this, you normally wont find me at home.  I gotta be outside!  The other day i took the girls to the beach and discovered that my smallest, dearest child, doesnt like the sand.  I put her on the blanket and her feet touched the sand and you would have thought the sand was on fire!  I found it quite funny, but sammi, not so much.  She screamed bloody murder.  Hmmmm....sorry babe, this isnt going to work.  You HAVE to like the beach.  We will spending many hours here in the coming months.  So I begun the process of breaking her in.  Started by putting sand in my hand, then dripping it on her foot then covering her feet.  Next we tried to walk in it.  Well, we didnt try.  I forced her :)  I swear im a nice mom!  At the end of the trip, she was sitting in it and playing in it.  Even eating it!  2 days later at the beach, you would have never know she didnt like sand :)  Now shes a bonafide beach baby!

At the beginning of the trip.  I didnt get a good picture of her complete panic face:

At the end of the trip.  Happily playing with sand :)

One of my favorite pictures of her <3

Not much has been going on in regular life.  The only interesting thing is my boss got shot last weekend.  He was walking to his door (at his house) and had box of money from the bar.  Some guy with a ski mask came out and told him to give him the money and he said no so the guy shot him in the thigh.  He fought back and the guy shot him in the other thigh.  I dont know what happened after that but my boss is in the hospital and doing well.  Crazy, though!  That person knows where he lives!  Someone also tried to rob the owner the night before too!  People be crazy!!

I finally took some pics of my boobs.  They are wonderful :)  (my boobs not the pics).  They are so bouncy, i love it.  They are getting more and more squishy, like real boobies.  Theres no pain or discomfort what so ever. 

More flattering lighting :)

Monday, April 4, 2011


Summer is getting so close!  Today was 86 degrees and WINDY!  I took the girls to the beach so that bella could push her baby stroller and so they could play on the playground.  Um...well bella almost blew away.  haha really she did.  First she let got of the stroller and at raced away about 50 feet before almost crashing into a guy on his bike.  He held on to it so it didnt go any further until we were able to catch up to it.  Then while bella was still holding on the wind starting blowing like crazy and it dragged her to the edge of the boardwalk.  I grabbed her and the stroller right before they went off the side.  Then bellas purse (yeah she likes to carry a purse at the ripe age of 2) flew off her arm and down one of the sand dunes.  I couldnt leave them to go chasing after it so that purse is gone.  After that, bella was too scared to push her stroller so she got in the wagon with sammi and we went for a walk instead.  I personally thought it was all pretty funny, bella on the other hand, did not.  We went to the park later.  Heres a few pictures:  Ok i lied.  I just remembered i didnt upload the pictures yet and the camera is still in matts car.  Sorry :( 

I wanted to mention the nasty skanks that come to my work.  This week only one of the two came in.  She was laying on her back (typical) with her crotch lifted in the air while she rubbed it vigorously and also flicked her tongue around all over the place.  Then she got on all fours, putt her face on the ground (ew), reached back with one hand to grab her ass while her gross female friend humped her from behind.  Um, why would anyone come to a bar and pretend like theyre having sex? I get provactive dancing but this is straight up sex with clohes on.  Not attractive.  Most people are looking at these girls with looks of disgust.  What is wrong with these girls?!?!?!

Ok. New topic.  Boobs.  Its been 4 weeks since my surgery and things are going sooo well.  Theyre a perfect size.  Not too big or too small.  Theyre settled in more.  Theyre starting to move a lot more like when i walk.  For a little while my left one hurt a little bit.  Nurse said it was nerve pain and that it would pass in time and to keep doing the massages.  The right one hasnt had any pain at all since about 6 or 7 days after the surgery.  But now both are completely pain free.  They are *almost* to the point of feeling like real boobs.  Im trying not to judge them too much because i have still have 2 more months until they will be "finished".  But so far they are looking pretty good and feeling pretty good :)

My point of view:

Friday, March 25, 2011


Posting 2 pictures.  I have to take some tomorrow to send to the doc so i will post those probably sunday.

This one is from 7 or 8 days post-op

And this is last week (i think) probably around 10-12 days.
Haha yeah dont mind the bunny ears OR the retarded face.  We're looking at boobs here people!

I really like they way they look in a cami top.  Im going to take picture tomorrow with naked boobies and with the pink bathing suit top for some good comparison.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

My BABY is one!!

Sammi's first birthday was today!  And Bella will be 2 in may! Wow!  We didnt do much today.  It was a weird weather day.  At 12:30 it was 55 degrees and 4 hours later it was 72?  We went grocery shopping.  Got sammi a little mini cake while we were there.  I had school tonight and luckily matt go off early so his mom didnt have to watch them (yay).  Even better, i got out of school early :) So we ran to sams club and ate some pizza there.  We did sammi's cake when we got home.  She was soooo ready to go to bed but once she tasted the cake she was all about it!  She makes the cutest smile when i tell her to say cheese or really anytime i look at her and smile.  She scrunches her face all up to where you can barely see her eyes, sometimes they are closed.  And you can see all 4 teeth.  Ugh i love it!  Heres one from tonight:
Bella kept singing happy birthday.  It was so cute!!!  Saturday will be sammi's party.  Cant wait to have family and friends here! *MY* family and friends.  I hate having only matts family around.  Im so angry at them because it seems like they really want to break us up.  And they hate me.  Not that i EVER did anything to them.  They are the ones who did crazy shit to me.  But whatever.  Im only worried about my girls.  They dont need people like that in their lives.  They are the kind of people to talk crap about me to my children.  They do it already with his sisters kid.  Quite sad.  I really hope matt would never let that happen.  I know i would never let my family be like that.  Ive kind of gotten side tracked.....

Boobs!  My boobs over the past 2 days have dropped down a lot and theyve become really soft.  At this point they feel almost like real boobs.  If they feel like this now, in 3 months im thinking you would hardly be able to  tell that they are fake.  My left one has been having some nerve pain.  The doctor said its totally normal so hopefully it passes soon.  The right one has been completely pain free for a while now.  I have a few pictures ive been meaning to post.  I try to post them tomorrow. 

Monday, March 21, 2011

Umm typos anyone?

I should spell check my post or at least read over it once.  Some of the typos are kinda funny. "i was 88 degrees and sunny".  Hahaha!  Well, whatever.  Im sure everyone gets the idea :)

do i HAVE to put a title?

Yeah, i dont really like thinking of titles for these things.

I havent posted in a little while.  Haven't had much going, not really anything interesting going on.  I went back to work saturday night.  It was quite interesting.  Ive never seen so many skank-nasty girls in one spot!  Well I have, but at least not at work.  There was this group of 3 chicks that took the cake for being the nastiest.  The most-nasty one was actually really pretty and then her 2 friends were really chunky but in all the wrong places.  Anyways they were dressed in unflattering black dresses and dancing all over each other.  Well, i cant call it dancing.  Really they were having porno-style sex, but with clothes on.  No lie.  At one point, the pretty girl was lying on her back on the dj stage with one foot by her ear while her friend was almost on top of her humping her vigorously.  Then the biggest of the girls was behind her raming her hips into her friends ass.  This was all night.  Then if they could find a guy without a gag reflex, they would do this on top of him.  Or the pretty girl would push him down on the dj stage and kneel over his face and rub her crotch on her face (all to the beat of the music).  Most guys tried to get away as fast as possible.  At the end of the night there was a limo full of guys literally dropping dollar bills in a line to the door of the limo.  The middle nasty girl followed and got in the limo but ended up getting out.  Apparantly these girls were at the bar last saturday too doing the same stuff.  And the cook messed with two of them in his car. ughhh...yuck!  I told him to not come near me because i didnt want any of the diseases he caught to jump off of him.

Friday was so beautiful!!  I was 88 degrees and sunny.  My kinda day!  I took the girls to the beach around 4 and matt met us there after he got off work. I brought bella's baby stroller and she LOVED it.  She felt so special that she got to push her baby in a stroller.  Although it took us about 20 minutes to go 10 feet because her baby had to be in the stroller *perfectly*.  Shes stop every 5 seconds to adjust the baby or adjust the sun shade.  It was so cute.

On thursday (sorry for the backtracking) i got one of my favorite pictures of the girls.  It was st. patricks day and they had on cute little matching outfits and they both sat next to each other and smiled at the same time (this is rare!).

My boo bear is going to be 1 in 2 days!  And bella will be 2 in 2 months!  Theyre getting too big :(  They are going to be annoying teenagers before i know it ;)

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

uh oh! lets get down! Sammi's turning 1!

My lil baby is turning 1 next week.  In the past 2 months shes developed her cute personality.  Shes a little love bug.  She loves to be held or to lay on top of you and watch whats going on around her.  If she can, she crawls all over you and lays all over you hoping you will rub her back or her hair.  She might be walking in a month or so!  Shes walking like a mad women with her stroller and has taken a few steps to matt or i.  When i tell her no she gets the biggest smile to try and convince that its really ok that shes about to eat that penny.  Or she will just shake her head no at me.  Like shes telling me no for telling her no.

Just want to stop real quick and inform you that bella just pulled her pants out of the dirty clothes and was wiping them all over her face (i think in an attempt to wipe her nose).  Nasty (and funny) part is that she just peed in those about 15 mins ago..... grosssss

K. Back to sammi.  I put a pillow in her crib last night and she loved it.  She tosses and turns so much all night.  Shes always laying on pillows and blankets everywhere so I figured she might like it.  She woke up in the exact same spot so im assuming shes comfy :)  She doesnt talk much yet.  She says mom and no.  But thats it.  She understands things pretty well though.  She hasnt showed interest in any one toy or book.  Other than musical intruments.  We have little baby drums and a baby guitar and those are basically the only things she plays with out of her gazillion toys.  She still has no hair :)  I was really hoping she would have enough for a pony tail by her first birthday but i wouldnt even be able to get a clip in there.  But i love putting the headbands on her and honestly think they would be way cuter on her than a little pony tail.  Bella had tons of hair at this point so its a fun change.

Sammi's party is the 26th.  I thought it wasnt going to happen (deja vu!) but its still going on.  Shes going to love it since there will be an infinite amount of people to hold her and dote on her.  She loves that!  I had planned on doing some sort of theme but couldnt think of one i really liked.  We had initally said we were doing a "fiesta" but i decided i didnt like it because i couldnt find cute girly "fiesta" decorations.  So it will be a normal barbeque but we will still have margaritas :)  I think im going to her cake the same colors as her room: white, black, and hot pink.  Matts family wont be there though.  Which I feel bad saying but im happy about that.  We get to avoid all the unnecessary drama and the nasty eye rolls from his mom and sister.  His other sister decided to have her 2 kids birthday parties on the same day?  Im sure his mom had something to do with this.  Matts known for at least 2 weeks now that sammi's bday was that day so im sure he told his mom at some point.  Wouldnt they assume or at least keep it in mind that I would have sammi's party the weekend after her birthday?  Im not movign it to sunday either because all my family is driving 4 hours from maryland to be there and i dont want them to have to drive back and go back to work the next morning.  So, I dont care if his family is there or not.  It means that i can now invite some of my friends since there will be more room :) But of course, if his sister decides to move her party to sunday, they are more than welcome.

Im looking forward to the next 4 days.  Its supposed to be upper 60s and lower 70s.  I always have the best days when the weather is warm.  Not sure how im going to take advantage of the days but im sure they will be well spent :)

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Fun weekend :)

Things have been crazy in my personal life but I wasnt going to let that spoil a beautiful weekend.  I took the girls to the aquarium yesterday and spent a lot of time at the park today.  They loved the aquarium!  A lot more than i thought they would.  Bella got to walk the whole time and of course she loved that freedom.  Sammi got to touch a sting ray too.  I have a really neat picture of sammi.  Theres a dark room with a big glass from floor to ceiling with big fish and sea turtles swimming in it.  Sammi was leaning up against the glass looking in and a sea turtle came up right in front of her and was looking at her.  I tried to get pictures of bella but she hasnt been very friendly to the camera for a while now. 

We met my friend angela at the park today.  She has a 1 year old named bella.  We ate some lunch and let the babies play.  I was a little shocked when i pulled up to the park, though.  The parking lot was full which is weird because theres normally not a single person there.  But then i look over by the creek and theres about 20 people dressed up in medieval outfits (men and women) and they were jousting and sword fighting. I had to laugh because ive only seen that stuff in movies.  It was strange to see it in real life.  Im not hating on them by any means.  Everyone needs hobbies.  But some of them were weird.  One of the ladies came over and sat on the swing and had a conversation with 2 little kids playing.  Except for the kids had their backs turned to her and were completely and obviously ignoring her. (they werent hers either). 

Im not sure who designs playgrounds but theyre not very safety concerned.  Ive seen more than one playground that has a bridge that curves up (i cant think of the term right now).  So when a kid is going from the highest point of the bridge they are on a decline.  A steep one.  And smaller kid like bella doesnt have perfect balance so it makes her speed up as shes walking down it.  Ok, no biggie.  But why would you put a large opening 2 feets from the bridge?  So my kid can be walking to fast and not be able to stop herself and fly right through the opening and fall 5 feet to the ground.  Yeah, not such a smart idea mr. architechs!  Bella thinks its funny because i chase her (from the ground) back and forth to make sure she doesnt fall off.

My boobs are not sore at all now.  Im not allowed to wear a bra for 6 weeks so i wear a tank top underneath my shirt.  They are still a little high up but dont look strange.  Just extra perky ;)  I need to take some more picture tonight.  The bottoms are starting to really soften up.  Its starting to feel like a real boob.  I cant wait for the rest of it to feel that way.  The tops are still pretty firm.  But i am starting to feel a little bounce in them!  Like if im walking fast or going up or down the steps.  Im thinking when they are completely healed theyre going to look and feel like real boobs.  Yay!

Friday, March 11, 2011

not my kind of day...

Matts been irritating me lately and today Im fairly pissed off at him.  The girls are freaking out probably because theyve been stuck inside with me for the past 3 days so i decided to take them for a walk.  I grabbed my keys and my spare ignition key (it has the mailbox key on it) and closed and locked the door behind me.  I didnt bother grabbing my cell phone since it wasnt going to be a long walk because it was cold.  The girls needed a nap so I figured Id wear them out a little bit so they would take good naps.  I get back to the house and go to unlock the door and my house key wasnt on my key chain! I guess matt had taken it off for whatever reason.  Im f-ing pissed!  Why would he take my key off and then not put it back?!?  Now im stuck outside in the cold with 2 tired cranky babies.  I remember I left the back door open so i run around back to see if the gate is unlocked.  Nope! Gah!  Luckily my neighbor walks out and  I ask to borrow her phone.  The only number i remember (matts at work and doesnt have his phone on him) is his moms work number.  Call her and ask who has my key and they say they dont have it.  Im fairly certain one of them does.  Anyways his sister works there too and says she should be home in an hour and a half if i want to come over there til matt gets home.  Yeah, no thanks.  I cant stand being around your undisciplined children.  I didnt say that but it was on my mind.  I ask if her husband or anyones husband or anyone is general is home to come jump the fence.  Apparantly, no.  I told them i dont have my phone so they cant call me back on that number.  I hang up, now more irritaed then when i started.  I decided to at least put the girls in the car to keep them warm.  I only have one carseat because matt took my other one out and never put it back in.  So technically i cant drive anywhere.  I go to start my car and my ignition key has also been taken off my key ring.  Luckily i had my spare because i had to check the mail.  I decide Im going to drive to matts friends house thats about 5 minutes away and pray that hes home.  I have to put sammi in the forward facing carseat because i cant turn it around because of my surgery and i had to strap bella into the seat belt in the back.  Then i hope that no one hits us and that i dont get pulled over.  That would be 2 big tickets for not having them properly strapped in carseats (its illegal to have a baby forward facing if they are under a year and/or under 20lbs).  Luckily his friend was home and came over and jumped the fence.  I called matts mom after i got them into bed and told her i was in.  She said oh well billy (matts dickhead stepdad) is on his way over, do you want me to tell him never mind?  Ummm duh!  Why the hell would i want him to come here (an hour and a half later) when Im already in the house?! 

Not what i had in mind for our walk.  But on to other things.  I havent taken any pain meds for my boobs for a few days now.  Theyre still a little tight but not too much and theyre not really sore at all.  Theyre starting to settle in and are looking like real boobs :)  Ive tried on a few different shirts and i LOVE how all my clothes looks sooooo much better on me!!  I can totally get used to this whole big boobs thing!  I always wondered if people with implants always felt like they had a fake object in their body.  And I dont feel like i do at all!  By far one of the best decisions ive ever made.

Sammi is so cute.  She likes to climb up the first step on the stairs and when i tell her no to get down.  She lowers her head and looks at me through the rails and gets a big smile on her face.  She thinks i cant see her i think. hahaha! i love it. its so cute.  But then i have to run and grab her because she WILL fall and that wouldnt be so cute.

Ill be posting some more pictures soon of the tatas.  They really starting to look good!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Day 5-6

Been a busy few days!  Yesterday I had me post-op appointment at 9am.  It was a quick check and that was it.  I got some notes for school since 2 of my classes are physical.  Fortunately my teachers were understanding and said if i had a note i could miss some class.  So after the appointment we headed towards pensacola (an hour and half away) because thats where my flight was taking off from.  We had a lot of time to kill since I didnt need to be at the airport until 3:30.  We stopped, ate some ihop and then attempted to go to pensacola beach.  It was supposed to the warmest day since we've been there and it was supposed to be sunny.  It was probably the coldest and windiest day :(  So we walked out to the beach and walked right back to the car.  It was too cold!  And when i get cold my body tenses up and it makes my boobs really tight which is uncomfortable.  So we decided to drive around there and look at the big houses.  They are all my dream house haha!  Also, the sand there is so pretty and white that if someone didnt know i was at the beach, they would think it was snow (from looking at a picture).  After that we went to the mall.  I really wanted to go to Sake Cafe.  They have the BEST sushi.  I would bet a lot of money on that too!  And from 3-6 they have a sushi happy hour and all the best rolls are 2.99.  But i was still sickly full from ihop :(  So to the mall.

The mall is pretty pathetic but i did see a nail place.  I had been really wanting a pedicure because my polish was a few months old (and it showed) and my feet werent all soft and pretty like i'd like.  Ive only had one other pedicure and my life and it was pretty nice.  So i decided to go to this place.  I must say i really hate going to nail places where they are foreign.  Not because i dont like foreign people but because I have the hardest time understanding even the mildest accent and i dont like how they constantly talk in their language to the other workers.  I never know when they are actually talking to me since i cant understand them in the first place.  I knew the guy doing me was talking about me the whole time.  Not that i care but still, its pretty rude.  I told him i was VA and i heard him say bladee bladde dah dah VIRGINIA blahdee dee dah.  Then i had told him i had surgery and pointed to my boobs and he said something else foreign and everyone who worked there craned their necks to look at my chest.  Please, dont be obvious!  Anyways, this pedicure SUCKED.  I will probably never get another.  When the guy went to massage my calves he was literally HITTING my leg.  It was so hard it was making a loud thud sound.  It didnt necessarily hurt but it definitely didnt feel good.  I couldnt help but look at my mom and laugh!  Like, what the HELL is this guy doing?!  I never thought a massage meant beating on someone?!  Then he went to massage my feet which would have felt great had he not had daggers as fingernails.  They felt like the were slicing my skin open!  What the hell!?! Then i asked him to paint my toes french manicure.  And when he started, again, i couldnt help but laugh.  He painted half my big toe with the white!  It looked as if i had been growing my toenails out for YEARS.  I said "ummm... can you make that A LOT thinner??".  I normally dont complain, but this was bed.  I mean really, imagine a french manicure where half the toenail is white.  He said oh, sorry. and made it thinner.  But still its way to thick.  Now is looks like i have been growing my toenails for months.  At least its not years.  Im not really sure why i had such bad luck this trip?  Maybe florida is the home of shitty service people?  I dont know, but its still pretty there :)  And i had to think about it positively:  I had come there for my boobs and they looked great so thats all that mattered. I guess at least i no longer have split ends and my feet are soft.

My mom couldnt find anything to do so she ended up dropping me off a little early.  At the airport I started to feel a little nauseous.  I figured it was from my percocet, but it lasted through today.  Im glad i didnt puke on the plane though.  I havent done that yet and would like to not ever do it.  My first flight left a little late and I was scared i was going to miss my connection flight AGAIN!  When i got into chicago i had to take some shuttle thing to my terminal.  I had to walk downstairs, outside, onto the place where the airplanes are riding, and then go back up some stairs.  Luckily there was a guy there who was nice enough to carry my bag that hold time since i cant really pick it up to walk up and down stairs.  well, i can, but im not supposed to.  But when i got to my terminal area i thought this guy was going to get on the plane with me!  He was like, oh where are we going?  Haha going right here and my bag rolls, thanks.   I thanked him profusely and tried to get away as fast as possible.  Got to my gate and they were about to close it!  Phew!  Just made it.   I was in the last row (lame) and there was a guy in my window seat.  I told him he was in my seat and he told me no i was wrong.  Hmm...yeah no.  Luckily there was a flight attendant there and told him to move.  Then he jumped into the seat next to him.  I would have had to climb over top of him to get to my seat.  I was like ummmm youre going to have to get up. Weirdo! When i sat down he whined that the airline always booked him window seats.  Sorry, buddy, guess not this time!  He had me worried the whole time.  He looked like a terrorist for one and he was acting really weird the whole time.  Luckily he didnt blow up the plane.  Also my boobs werent really sore at all the entire day.

Matt picked me up and the girls were both sleeping in their carseats.  I wanted to wake them up and give them tons of kisses. But i didnt :(  We went home and apparantly bella decided she wanted to sleep with us.  I was absolutely fine with that.  She was snuggling with me all night but she never stopped moving! So i got NO sleep.  But thats ok.  I missed her so much and i needed that time with her, even though she was asleep.  This morning she woke up and saw me and had the biggest smile on her face.  Then she climbed on top of me and was touching my face :)  I told her i missed her and she told me she missed me <3  She saw my boobs and kept pulling my shirt down to look at them haha.  Then sammi woke up and i was rocking her and she kept twisting to look at my face and she kept making the sweetest smile while she stared at me.  And then she started touching my face.  I dont know why they touch my face? But  i like it :)  Sammi was squeezing me like she didnt want me to let her go.  They been giving me so many hugs and kissed all day.  I will never ever be leaving them again.  These girls are my world!  Theyre like an addiction! 

I saw that his mom had gotten them some clothes to wear while they were at her house or matts sisters house.  And like i expected, they were hideous!!!!  Gosh! So freaking ugly.  Its like she walks into a store and goes to the ugliest things she can find and picks them.  Im not sure if she actually likes them or if she WANTS the ugliest clothes.  Matt and her think i dont like them because shes buying them but thats not it at all.  Its because they are normally blue and/or hideous.  I like cute trendy clothes for my girls.  Not things that look like theyre for boy or old ladys.  I need to go shopping really soon though to get them clothes.  For the most part, sammi can wear bellas clothes.  But bellas shirts are tight belly shirts and her pants are high waters.  Shes grown drastically in the past month.  But I love buying clothes for them.  More so than i like buying them for myself. 

My boobs today (day 6) are doing even better.  Im hardly sore at all and theyre dropping more.  Im thinking at 2 weeks theyre going to look like real boobs.  They say it can take 3-6 months for your final results though.  Im going to try to post pictures today.  Sorry if there is weird typos in this post.  Sammi keeps smacking the key board and it will go to a different part of a post.  it happens so fast i can tell what happened.


Day 1

Day 2

Day 2

Day 3

Day 3

Day 4

Day 4

Monday, March 7, 2011

Day 4

My soreness has decreased quite a bit.  My boobs seem to be dropping little by little and getting softer.  I can put a normal shirt on just fine which surprised me since a lot of people made it seem like i would only be able to wear zip ups/button ups for weeks.  I have to wear the tight strap that wraps over the top of my boobs until friday.  I thought it was way longer but the nurse said no, just 7 days.  We went for a walk on the beach today which didnt bother me at all.  I have my post-op tomorrow to make sure everything is going how it should and then i fly home.  Cant WAIT to see my babies!  I dont get home until 11 at night but i will definitely be waking them up to give them lots of hugs and kisses.

I got my hair cut today.  It was a disaster.  The main reason i wanted to get it cut was because i needed it washed and straightened.  I figured if i was going to get that done, mine as well get it cut too.  Well the lady acted like i was interupting her day and i think she was talking to herself in her head because she kept making this random weird smile.  My hair is pretty long, and i want to grow it longer so i told her i didnt want more than 2 inches cut.  I told her i wanted layers but not long layers.  I told her i wanted her to trim my long bangs and then to blow dry it and straighten it.  I came out looking like a freaking soccer mom.  She cut tons of my hair off, i have weird looking layers that make me look old.  Then she was going to start blow drying and i asked her if she was going to cut my bangs.  She asked if i was sure i wanted to do that.  Uhhhh... yeah bitch!  Youve already hijacked my hair cut, at least do one thing i want.  Then she said she though i should cut my bangs short, that would look cute.  Fuck no!  Leave me hair alone.  I told her i didnt want product in my hair because no matter what, it always makes my hair feel dirty.  But she still put globs of gel in my hair because it would "help her blow dry".  Idiot. So shes blow drying my hair but the whole time leaves all my hair in front of my face! Who does that?  Whos blinds their clients?  She did this the ENTIRE time.  It took her forever to blow dry my hair because there was so much gel in it.  Not to mention when she brushed my hair, she RIPPED the brush through it.  Then she started using a straightening iron, then a curling iron?  I didnt know what she was doing since i couldnt SEE!  I looked like a 70's soccer mom.  And my hair was short.  And my hair didnt move.  Fabulous!  So now i have to go home and rewash my hair and straighten myself all because this bitch was incapable of following directions.  Oh, and she charged me $10 extra dollars for long hair?  You cut it all off you asshole!  Ugh!  Ive never had a bad hair cut.  Never had a really good one, but its hard to mess my hair up.  I should have demanded my haircut be free but i just wanted to go.  I was so irritated.  Hopefully when i straighten it, it wont look so bad.  And hopefully it grows back really really fast.  I hate her.

While i was listening to my surroundings (since i was blinded by my hair curtain) i overheard a guy getting his hair cut.  he was asking the lady to cut a certain part shorter and she told him, "sorry sweety, my fingers are too chubby." hahahaha!  So tough shit for him, i guess?  He was like ummm...ok...  Haha what do you say to that?  She was dead serious too.

Ahhh im so excited to see my little loves.  I want to hold them, and hug them, and kiss them, and squeeze them, and snuggle them. Cant waittttt!!!